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Gloomy Sunday!!

June 19, 2011 Leave a comment

Woke up with period pains & that annoying hammering noise at the construction site opposite to my home,looked at my mobile it was six in the morn,that noise was geting on my nerves…to deviate myself from it..so that i don’t end up with frustration & heavy head i just pluged in my head phones to listen to the radio..guess what which song was playing “Papa kehte hai..bada naam karega” frm qyamat se qyamat tak ! ..later herd the RJ saying it was father’s Day today…I am not a believer of these day’s…i wonder whats the need for it?
Mother’s day,father’s day etc….
Do we need a day to make our parents feel special or thank them for all they did..I don’t think so…
But i fell sullen as memories reiterated in my mind..
-That unspoken affection & love my dad always had for me,
-his desire to give best for us -food,education and lots more,

Many more things kept running in my mind,and soon i was crying…i felt a deep desire to meet him..i just wondered if would meet him again..& this thought made me more miserable..I was crying & never new when i fell asleep..

It was such a ponderous day,i guess i was missing someone..But y should i miss that person…when that person does not feel the same for me y should i feel like this?

Enough i am not going to think bout him(The second man in a girls life after her dad,i guess every girl tries to find something bout her father in the other man..& they end up expecting so much but forget that he is not a hero like her father to know every hidden desire of her’s ) anymore…but……..

most of the time i kept looking at my phone…now its enough…i am not going to be sooo desperate anymore,let me see how long i can do this…

To deviate myself from all this in my life I started to make up my room..

very firstly i put on the new bed spread..very colorful one…Check out…Hope its not too colorful..never mind i loved the look 🙂

This is what i put up on my table.So lively  ,It did make my day……………

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April 26, 2011 Leave a comment

As a kid I use to see my father doing some of my project works as part of my school assignments, He was a remarkable artist. Be it a map or any sort of drawing or painting work he was best and finally he use to write my name below in an outstanding way using some of his calligraphic techniques. And my name would be so obvious & standing out from rest of the things on the display board, I use to feel so proud and delighted.

I guess I have got this in artistic character from my father.

I had this deep inkling towards painting,i love the colors and yes i did paint my feelings out which where inane & naive,but my dad use to encourage me always,

Today neither i have the time nor those words of conviction,so i hardly paint 😦

Some of my work…

Categories: Random Thoughts

Forgive and Move On

October 12, 2009 Leave a comment

A:I want to hear u say that u forgive him

Me:I can’t do that.

A:It’s hard I know but you have no option. If you don’t do it, you’ll always be thinking of the pain he caused you and that pain will never pass .I am not saying you got to like him. I am not saying you got to seek him out.

I am not suggesting you should start thinking of him as an angel .The energy of hatred won’t get you anywhere; but the energy of forgiveness, which reveals itself through love, will transform your life in a positive way.

All it does is feed a constant desire to feel sorry for yourself ,because you were the victim of people stronger than you .or else it makes you go to the other extreme and disguise yourself as an avenger ready to hit out at the people who hurt you. Isn’t that a waste of time?

Me:It’s just human

A:Oh it is but it’s not intelligent or reasonable .Show some respect for your time on this earth, and know that God has always forgiven you and always will.

Categories: Random Thoughts

Truly Said ….

April 29, 2009 Leave a comment
    “A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes”. The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.”Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – family, your loved one, your children, your God and your friends, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your career, your money, bank accounts, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. If you put pebbles first there is no room for the golf-balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small things, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend more time with your loved ones. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. There will always be time to earn that extra dollar.” Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
Categories: Random Thoughts

April 28, 2009 Leave a comment

It has been a while since I expressed on this blog,

Few months back I was brooding and crying and all broken, there was  not a single day when I had not remembered him and hated him for all that happened.

But guess what He’s back in my life ,He always was there but it was me who had rammed all the doors on him, But one day It was my state of solitude ,grief   and endless pain which I was going through  at work and in my personal life enforced me to him.

Once I spoke to him ,I can’t believe all my hatred was  unleashed and I felt free of all the bitterness I had reaped for him, I just don’t know why I did this or why I felt this way .

Do I still Love Him?? I don’t  know  😦

But he stills claims that he loves me so much !!

Iam not sure if I have to believe him or not !!

Then I think how does it really matter now .Since then there is not a single day when he has not called me.

I feel like I can’t live without speaking to him…I really feel incomplete and uneasy if I don’t speak to him

Happen to read these notions of a Guy -really amazing!!!!

December 4, 2008 Leave a comment

what a girl really looks for in a guy is whether or not he can make her happy….make her laugh…make her feel cozy and comfortable….and that does not necessarily requires you to have a pulsar…….you can make her feel all that and even more on your tobu cycle too…if you have the guts and the skills……..she will end up falling for you…even if you ride a tobu cycle……..
 
So I am sure I wont really need a pulsar to take a girl out on a date………Coz if she really loves me…she will love my ride because she loves me….not the other way round…..
 
Guys do look hot with jazzy bikes (per gals)….But I bet anyone of you will settle anytime for a guy who is more “Warm” than he is “Hot”…….
 
And yeah you are right……..”You Can’t Live with them, You Can’t Live without them…”………
 
Obviously I will finally end up falling for some “unpredictable/Unrealistic/Kiddish and annoying girl” …..simply because of the fact that I will remain “Incomplete” till the day I find her…… (and “Completely” finished when I find her)
 
Unpredictable—Yes they are….but so is our lives…….we don’t stop living…do we???
 
Unrealistic—-Yes they are….but so are our dreams and ambitions…we don’t stop striving …… do we????
 
Kiddish——Oh I Love Kids…….
 
Annoying——- My Dad once asked me to give up smoking…I felt annoyed…..but later I realized that it was all for my good….may be….she being “annoying” will bring in some positives too…..
 
Its one Apple that even Adam dint let go off……Why will I then????
 
As I said earlier and I reiterate
 
“You Can’t Live with them, You Can’t Live without them…”………

Categories: Random Thoughts Tags: , ,

My Misconstrue

November 25, 2008 Leave a comment

I never new when he stepped into my life & before I could realize this he was gone

Away from me, I was feeling so helpless but could do nothing but

Cry on my misfortune.

I would spend sleepless night thinking of him & wondering if ever he also felt the same for me .

I was missing his absence , my life had gone sullen

I would meet him in my dreams & would wake up to the truth -he ‘s not here.

But I never failed to mail him.

I don’t know y I felt all this for him,He was the only person I spoke so much

I shared all my truths with him,I trusted him blindly But y?

But never new what he felt for me,

But when he expressed it to me I could not believe, I wanted to be with him but never knew if he also wanted the same, but I left my ego behind I blurted all my desires to him didn’t even give a thought if he would really accept all that,

But he stood by me – but was it his mere sympathy or he knew I would never come to him?

When I meet him hopefully, I’ll ask him this..

But I want to believe it that he loves me.

Now I have to go with a stranger ,I feel so helpless but nothing can I do about

It, but live this way for rest of my life.

Even I had all those girly dreams of a tall, dark handsome man

But all that is illusion

I should have accepted this from before,

I have no choice but take whatever I am being given.