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Archive for April, 2010

What’s your age ?

April 27, 2010 Leave a comment

As I discussed about the current scene of the appraisal going on at my work place with this guy who is suppose to be acting Team Lead for our project, I learnt that average hike last year was a single digit so I argued that it seemed to quite less but later convinced as recession had hit last year but this was not the case it would prevail this year as well that’s what he had to tell me and it would vary on ones experience.

I don’t know why he drifted from the current  topic of discussion to tell me that I am suppose to be most experienced and older to my other colleagues , I just wondered what has this got to do with our conversation ,what did he want to prove ?

I think I felt offended and I dint know how to react, as I was not expecting this, maybe I was feeling embarrassed of being old among them, When it comes to age it seems to be the most sensitive topic to discuss for girls. Why is it so?  I feel it’s truly offending to make such an arbitrary blanket statement that it’s embarrassing getting old!

But why did I feel that way? I don’t know what I felt but it was quite unpalatable. May be it’s because of the insecurities of not achieving what actually one should have at that age.

If I was a Team Lead and he would have told the same I would have never felt like that,

Now I understand what I actually felt. Now I feel as long as you’re positive, confident and responsible for every bit of your life it’s the most Inconsequential topic to worry about.

Yet another new experience as I grow old!

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Categories: Fickle Feelings Tags:

April 22, 2010 Leave a comment

Hey done with most of the work, I want to just be myself and forget all that’s happening in my life for a while, All the things which keep haunting me most of the time, some of them like the defective gear box in my car, most crooked man I made a plot deal with who has not yet processed my loan to the tap not working at home.

Life seems to be so monotonous; all my dreams seem to wane away,

I feel I am left with nothing to do.

Life feels like the huge mountain of fear, insecurities, frustration, lost love & faith.

Will I really be able to pass on through this, How long should I wait for the light of hope to fill my journey with the desired colorful flowers, green trees and sweet fruits?

Categories: Fickle Feelings