Cry baby cry

First I use to cry for my parents,
then for studies,
then for job,
then again for job & parents,
then for marriage ,
then for love,
then for parents & lost love,
then for loneliness,
then for job disaster,
then for parents & my unfaithfulness to them,
then for accepting somebody else,
then for insecurities,
then for lost parent,
then for holding on someone in spite of knowing that i will be hurt,
then for Quandary & helplessness,
& dunno for what more …….

Last night I was in the state of melancholy as memories of my dad reiterated in my mind, As his memories surface in my mind, I felt miserable. I just wondered when I would meet him ,is it that death has parted him from us forever ,all these questions just made me more mad and I was freaking out at that moment Loneliness knocked me down to tears and I felt vulnerable .

As a kid I was very obstinate and would cry my heart out for every trivial stuff but he was there for me,I remember him giving me bath over weekends and drying my short little hair and not to forget his thail maalish ,and how keen he was on feeding us the special and best ,and I still remember him helping me with my maths.

He was there when I wrote my CET,he would wait eagerly till I finished my exam just to see my smug face & then take me back home and on the way back home we would go out to the nearby Tiffin shop to gorge on the spicy,crispy dosa ‘s . And he would drive me all the way to my tuitions and then back home.

And later when I was away to the hostel,he would ensure that I had enough money  and for every need of mine he would never say a No,He did all that I wanted from buying me those costly books  and helping me with my projects and I still remember the day when he travelled  around 300 kms  to my hostel with my computer .

But today as i think of all this..i feel we are alone..

there is none who would love us like you,

none to care ,care bout what we ate,how we live or even none to raise their hands in dua for us.

Today i realise how lonely iam….

I miss you so much….

As a kid I use to see my father doing some of my project works as part of my school assignments, He was a remarkable artist. Be it a map or any sort of drawing or painting work he was best and finally he use to write my name below in an outstanding way using some of his calligraphic techniques. And my name would be so obvious & standing out from rest of the things on the display board, I use to feel so proud and delighted.

I guess I have got this in artistic character from my father.

I had this deep inkling towards painting,i love the colors and yes i did paint my feelings out which where inane & naive,but my dad use to encourage me always,

Today neither i have the time nor those words of conviction,so i hardly paint 😦

Some of my work…

Healthy Drinks

Healthy Bottle g0urd drink:-

Happen to read this article on Bottle gourd  here,

really cool never new such amazing benifits of bottle gourd which is so good in fibre and water contents,so just want to keep this info with me for ever.

And would love to try this healthy juice

Ingredients
1. Bottle gourd – 250 gm  or small one
2. Mint leaves – 5
3. Salt  to taste
4. Jeera powder – 1 tsp
5. Black pepper powder – 2 tsp

Method:
1. Peel bottle gouard and wash, cut mint leaves
2. Mix in   mixture
3. Add water(little )
4. Add jeera, pepper powder and salt. Stir Well.

Soon will let you know how it tastes 🙂

Another Healthy Drink with my much fav Tomatoes

Starting with the basics, tomatoes contain large amounts of vitamin C, providing 40 percent of the daily value (DV). They also contain 15 percent DV of vitamin A, 8 percent DV of potassium, and 7 percent of the recommended dietary allowance (RDA) of iron for women and 10 percent RDA for men.

The red pigment contained in tomatoes is called lycopene. This compound appears to act as an antioxidan

Now going to the Drinks –

take

Ripe Tomatoes- 2 nos.

Cucumber- 1 medium sized

Slice the tomatoes and cut the cucumber into large pieces. Blend the ingredients with a few sprigs of mint and rock salt to taste.

you can as well try

2 Fresh Carrots

1 Tomato ,Blend them together with some salt and pepper and Enjoy your glass of healthy drink.

SpiderWeb by Agatha Christie

I had heard and read so much about Agatha Christie so I picked up one of her books from the library.
I am just glad that I picked up this book,I just loved it.
I was just glued to the book ,there is so much suspense and thrill and it is amazingly unpredictable.

The crux of the play is the mystery behind the body Clarissa happens to find in her home and how she and  her well reputed friends try getting rid of the corpse without informing the police just to avoid the nasty things which would follow after that as she was expecting  her husband Henry with well reputed guest.

All the thrill and mystery on why her friends agree to help her even though they knew this was egregious.The play is written so well in such unsophisticated  language and its real thrill  reading how the real coup is uncovered.

The Catcher In The Rye by J.D.SaLinger

what do i say about this book …Hmmm
well its about this young boy who thinks everything around him is phony ,He does exactly wht he feels ,straight from heart,he has no second thoughts neither is he bound by any feeling of staid,he does things which are impromptu and has very little interest in his studies which is so common among the teenagers.As His hatred towards his friends burgeons he just walks out of his hostel to stays all alone for himself  and how he spends his time and does things which he had never done before .
How he abhors everyone around except for his little sister and the rapport that he shares with her.
Overall I think the book brings out the mind of a real teenager who is so eager to jump out to adulthood and is so confused and abhorred by others for his failures which makes him lonely and demotivated.

Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

STARGIRL

Author : Jerry Spinelli

My Thoughts:

This is the most heartfelt and emotional story about this young girl who is so different from the normal horde,it’s really heartbreaking and sad about how other students in Mica shun her for being so different.
The story revolves around two protagonist ,the Stargirl and Leo.Leo who from the first day of stargirl in school is mesmerized by her and enchanted by every chore of her and is in love with her.
Stargirl never pretends and does things what she truly feels and her perception to things is so out of this world and this was the reason for her not being accepted by other students in school,they believed she did all this to become popular.But stargirl was different as her name,what she saw went straight to her heart.She found happiness and satisfaction by noticing and feeling for those things which others eyes seldom saw.

Leo who is boggled by every single and small task done by star girl and finally finds himself  caught amidst his unconventional love to stargirl and his desire  to regain notice of other students which he had lost as he had become part of shunning of stargirl,and he had become popular as Mr Stargirl.

Its a story about what huddles one has to go through on being away and different from the normal horde.
And about the inspiring love which keeps Leo embarked on the boat of life,where he no more feels lonely.
And the impact of selfless,kind,ingeniousness soul like stargirl who had become a victim of grisly shunning had left traces of her infinite kindness,selfless deeds and her ukulele in Mica’s  heart.

Prawns

Most of my friends and family just love prawns but I use to hate them, the smell of it only makes me feel low on food, my zest in eating wanes away .But this was not the case when I happen to eat Mudaliyar Pepper Prawns at Ebony I just fell in love with it which was once stinky hatred food of mine. I think the trick lies in the way they are cooked. Since then I am eager on trying various recipes on prawns, happen to watch one of the cookery show on TV last weekend, found it interesting, I am certainly going to try it out one day .Hopefully I don’t start hating them all over again after that 🙂

List of ingredient

1) Pepper

2) Fenugreek seeds

3) Cumin seeds

4) Dried Red chilies

5) Dry grated coconut

5) Chopped onions

6) Tomato Puree

7) Ginger Garlic paste

8)  and of course Prawns

Route to Delicious Prawns curry

–          First roast the pepper seeds, fenugreek seeds, Cumin seeds, red chilies and grated coconut and the grind it to make a paste

–          Then in a pan add some oil ,to it add the chopped onions .Fry the onions then add ginger garlic paste to it then tomato puree  and salt cook it then add above paste to the pan and add the prawns ,cook well until the prawns are ready to be hogged on .

Happy Mothers Day Mom

I wanted to buy a pair of earrings for mom ,I feel bad whenever I see her sad, I want her to happy, most of the time she is lost in abba’s  memories ,I had planned to go out with L then I thought how could I do this ,leaving my family in despair how can I enjoy ? On the pretext of getting haircut done I went out with L to buy earrings for my mom, I was all excited to give it to her, but this effort of mine didn’t bring a smile on her face, instead she was more upset about me going all alone to buy jewelery as though it’s a big  task. I know why she felt so, we grew up in such conserve environment, we would not think of going out shopping without mom, but over few months I had learn to go all by myself because I felt dejected when I was not given importance when my sister’s marriage was all the priority in everyone’s life at home ,and also because L was back in my life and maybe I was so vulnerable and I was so in need of love and importance that lead to this mercurial behavior of mine, I knew L would be with me in every core I do. I felt really miserable for my failure in bringing those little happy moments in my mom’s life, I just went into my room & tried sleeping but only sorrow filled my night.

Happy Birthday Abba !!

Today is Abba’s Birthday,Abba I feel ur emptiness in our life’s,we miss you extremely.

You know what I and Arshi had planned to buy a cake for this birthday of yours just to surprise you,we know that you don’t like all this but we thought we were assuming ,May be you would have been so delighted to cut the cake at night 12 as we did on our birthdays. I know you would have never done this in your lifetime, but somewhere in the corner of your heart you would have hoped for this kind of surprise. But how unfortunate are we that we could not give this surprise to you. All this seem to be Inconsequential then, but every trivial thing seems to be missing you. Your anger when we stop you from smoking ,your deep pent-up love ,your endless faith in us, your smug smile on seeing us driving our own cars, your unstoppable proud talk on our achievements in work to our envious relatives, your squabble with ammi for the TV remote and the noisy argument you pick up with her on watching TV late night, Every  comment of yours on ammi’s cooking, your peer into our room when we leave you all alone to watch TV for a lengthy gossip, Your tears and content filled heart on arshi’s wedding and many more indescribable deeds of yours we miss.

Today is Abba’s Birthday,Abba I feel ur emptiness in our lifes,we miss you extremely.

You know what I and Arshi had planned to buy a cake for this birthday of yours just to surprise you,we know that you don’t like all this but we thought we were assuming ,May be you would have been so delighted to cut the cake at night 12 as we did on our birthdays. I know you would have never done this in your lifetime, but somewhere in the corner of your heart you would have hoped for this kind of surprise. But how unfortunate are we that we could not give this surprise to you. All this seem to be Inconsequential then, but every trivial thing seems to be missing you. Your anger when we stop you from smoking ,your deep pent-up love ,your endless faith in us, your smug smile on seeing us driving our own cars, your unstoppable proud talk on our achievements in work to our envious relatives, your squabble with ammi for the TV remote and the noisy argument you pick up with her on watching TV late night, Every  comment of yours on ammi’s cooking, your peer into our room when we leave you all alone to watch TV for a lengthy gossip, Your tears and content filled heart on arshi’s wedding and many more indescribable deeds of yours we miss.